I hate to tell you this, Laina Shendoah, but I can not be your lover. My heart is taken by the next muse who dares to amaze the Interwebs. I'm hard to date because I'm like a hunting dog. I'm loyal and you can pet me, but I'm happiest when I'm running around trying to find the day's prey. You need to move on. Our time was sweet like that homemade carrot cake your roommate gifted us, and you serenaded me beautifully while you strummed your guitar. But you need not despair. I know that in time you will find that special someone who is finally ready to settle down. Take care, Laina. See you in part two.